Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Some Thoughts on Overindulgence and Conduct Disorder
There are four primary methods of overindulgence: 1) giving things as replacements for attention, involvement and nurturing. Many parents are unable to differentiate between loving a child and overindulging him/her. 2) Giving too much permission to a child who does not yet have the skills to handle the responsibility. Many parents give privileges that haven't been earned, leading to confusion and inability to manage life and its complications. 3) Parents over-nurture, meaning they hover over their children, in the process depriving them of opportunities to grow and experience life with its joys and disappointments. 4) Providing too little structure. Children need guidance, limits, rules and consequences. They need boundaries and responsibilities.
Middle-class American children, who enjoy better health, the benefits of a peaceful society, and more material comfort than any children in the history of the world, often seem miserable. Some of the misery is related to a sense of there never being enough. Interest is lost in a new toy or game almost as soon as it's attained. This tends to result in adults who don't know how much is enough with eating, spending, gambling, sex, drugs, and relationships. Some of the research suggests that adults who were overindulged as children tend to have more extra-marital affairs. There is also a link between overindulgence and the development of bulimia and anorexia.
Research also indicates that overindulged children become self-centered, detached, angry, dependent, entitled, manipulative, and incapable of empathy. In other words, overindulgence fails to prepare children for healthy relationships and responsibilities of adulthood.
Conduct disorder is a disorder of childhood that is categorized as an externalizing disorder. Externalizing means acting out feelings, often anger and aggression. The DSM-IV-TR defines conduct disorder as "A repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic rights of others or major age appropriate societal norms are violated, as manifested by three or more of the following:
Aggression against people or animals (e.g. bullying, threatening, physical cruelty to animals or people, forcing sex on someone, etc).
Property destruction (e.g. fire-setting, breaking windows, etc).
Lying or theft.
Serious rule violations (e.g. running away, chronic truancy, etc).
Concuct disorder is often a precursor to the development of Antisocial Personality Disorder or sociopathy.
Does this mean that anyone, especially a child, who gets "lots of stuff" will become a criminal? By no means! I have family members who are quite wealthy, and their children usually had an abundance of material things. Their parents, however, provided structure, rules, consequences, many things were privileges that had to be earned. These children had their parents' attention and involvement, and they were helped to learn how to deal with anger, sadness and disappointment in effective and realistic ways.
Can you see the connection between overindulgence and the development of conduct disorder?
Middle-class American children, who enjoy better health, the benefits of a peaceful society, and more material comfort than any children in the history of the world, often seem miserable. Some of the misery is related to a sense of there never being enough. Interest is lost in a new toy or game almost as soon as it's attained. This tends to result in adults who don't know how much is enough with eating, spending, gambling, sex, drugs, and relationships. Some of the research suggests that adults who were overindulged as children tend to have more extra-marital affairs. There is also a link between overindulgence and the development of bulimia and anorexia.
Research also indicates that overindulged children become self-centered, detached, angry, dependent, entitled, manipulative, and incapable of empathy. In other words, overindulgence fails to prepare children for healthy relationships and responsibilities of adulthood.
Conduct disorder is a disorder of childhood that is categorized as an externalizing disorder. Externalizing means acting out feelings, often anger and aggression. The DSM-IV-TR defines conduct disorder as "A repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic rights of others or major age appropriate societal norms are violated, as manifested by three or more of the following:
Aggression against people or animals (e.g. bullying, threatening, physical cruelty to animals or people, forcing sex on someone, etc).
Property destruction (e.g. fire-setting, breaking windows, etc).
Lying or theft.
Serious rule violations (e.g. running away, chronic truancy, etc).
Concuct disorder is often a precursor to the development of Antisocial Personality Disorder or sociopathy.
Does this mean that anyone, especially a child, who gets "lots of stuff" will become a criminal? By no means! I have family members who are quite wealthy, and their children usually had an abundance of material things. Their parents, however, provided structure, rules, consequences, many things were privileges that had to be earned. These children had their parents' attention and involvement, and they were helped to learn how to deal with anger, sadness and disappointment in effective and realistic ways.
Can you see the connection between overindulgence and the development of conduct disorder?
Sunday, March 6, 2011
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